We went to a wedding of some good friends on the weekend. Great people, lovely wedding, awesome when two people who are best friends get to spend the rest of their lives together. Speaking of which we are planning on doing the same next year, very informal, no big deal right?

Ninety nine percent of the time anyway. It’s just to ‘make it official’ in an old fashioned kind of way. We don’t need to get married, our lives wont change, we are still the same people, but it’s important. No big deal right?

Only…throughout my life I haven’t been the best at relationships and communication. As a child, family circumstances meant I didn’t get to watch and learn relationships – no extended family or family friends as such to watch and learn from. I have no benchmark, or experience to go by. My marriage to my children’s father, well let’s just say I could have dealt with that relationship in a different way. The same with my subsequent relationships, and I don’t just mean romantic ones. I seem to have the knack of doing or saying the wrong thing and not realising it so I can’t fix it. People walk away or leave without telling me why, or if they do, I just don’t get it. I can write stories, articles, blogs, but cant speak to save a relationship, no matter how much is at stake.

So, yeah, it doesn’t happen very often, but there is the very rare occasion where I think, “What am I doing to Pete? It’s not fair on him, I don’t get this right, or at least I haven’t in the past, why would I think I can now? I don’t want to break him.”

Then I remember I am bossy all the time and he is so patient and good and good at everything, and more than all that, we are the very best of friends. Today, tomorrow, yesterday and forever.

Our wedding next year, is a very low key affair. We have both been there before, we have beautiful children. We don’t want to take away from the family that they were born into and grew up in. It is more about making it official, we know we are together forever, best mates. A quiet ceremony followed by an all day party for Pete’s birthday.

Formal, informal, a legal ceremony, but nothing changes. I am still crazy bossy hippy lady, Pete is still patient, talented, clever, and practical. So once again all is good with the world.