Looking at all the money that goes into making items, and all the money that’s spent on buying decorations, presents, cards, paper, food and drinks, it’s no wonder that the month leading up to December 25 can cause stress, anxiety, depression, frustration, sadness and pretty much every other emotion we are able to experience. We are caught up in the spending frenzy with sales everywhere we look. We buy too much food and drink, too many items that no one needs, and spend the next few months bemoaning the amount of money we’ve spent. At the end of the year, we turn around and do it all again.
The trauma experienced over the holiday period, the expectations, the dramas, the heated conversations, are far more common than we think. It’s much harder to find cases of families who don’t experience the negativity over Christmas. Even most of the families depicted on television or in movies experience problems that are resolved over the course of their story.
Real life’s not the same as the movies, right?
There’s good and bad in every relationship, in every situation. It’s amplified during the holiday period – kids are home, the weather’s hot (or very cold), we have to talk to our relatives, tell them what we’ve been doing for the year. We can’t be ourselves when we’re on edge trying to live up to expectations. No wonder people either love or hate Christmas.
It’s a pagan celebration as well as a Christian one. Jesus’s birth, St Nicholas handing out presents to children, elves, giant cats, Krampus, reindeer – each country has their own stories. We decorate a tree, our tables, ourselves and spend so much money on one day of the year.
The only time I loved the festive season was when my kids were little. We decorated the house and the tree together, making our own decorations, reading Christmas stories, baking cookies. Christmas is all about the kids. After that, things went a little awry, and I became a grinch.
I’m still a grinch, and still cranky all the time, but I’m slowly looking at, and thinking about craft ideas that are linked to Christmas. I’m also writing a Christmas mystery. It’s taken over twenty years. It’s useful to remember that I’m not alone in my experience of a dysfunctional Christmas. It happens to a lot of families, it’s nothing special.
We don’t have to be perfect, we don’t even have to forgive and forget, just…don’t ever give up on that happy ending. Celebrate the day, or don’t. We can catch up with those we love any day of the year. Time spent with loved ones can be special – it’s the people, not the day, that counts.
Christmas – that day, just like every other day of the year – is what we make of it. It might even be possible to enjoy ourselves. Definitely a ‘note to self’ moment.