Life is like a packing box – you never know what state it is going to be in when you reach your destination.

Warning – candid comments with no filters in this blog. So many ideas, thoughts and responses swimming around in my head. I am knee deep in writing my next book, and in the midst of renovations, downsizing and packing in preparations for our move. I don’t like clutter and I don’t like not being organised. Having items out of place really messes with my obsessive compulsive disorder. I get even more fidgety than normal. Is it anxiety, or frustration? I used to think it was frustration, that I am a control freak who needs to be in control ALL the time. While I still think it is true, I now wonder if anxiety may also play a part in my overall behaviour.

I know that I am not alone in saying that I don’t like moving house. It is listed as one of the main stressors in life. I have moved more times than I would have liked, but not as much as others. Do I get itchy feet? Was I a gypsy in my past life?

Moving is a royal pain in the proverbial. I’m not going to say our next home is our forever home, nor will I be buying stuff anymore. Not as dramatic as it sounds, I am just appalled at how many items we collected in our home and farm, with all the plans we had. Downsizing means giving it all away, or offering it for a steal on for sale marketplaces. I don’t mind giving our items away when I know that they will be loved, respected and well used in their next home.

It is exhausting. Painting and renovations are as tiring as the downsizing and packing. We were perfectly willing to outsource this side of things to tradesmen. Pete isn’t supposed to use his back or his elbow, (though that’s a whole other story) but we don’t have the tens of thousands of dollars that we were quoted. We will be undertaking most of the renovations ourselves. I am doing as much as I can but there are some tasks Pete has to do, to make it look professional. Like the prep work before painting, for example.

Our house is eighty percent packed up. After we paint the inside, we will tackle the shed and the man cave. The yard is seventy percent tidy and presentable. Everything interesting is either packed away or given away. All the things that make this place ours are in boxes in the area that used to be the studio, waiting in anticipation for our next home.

Working on this together has shown us what we are made of. I’m cranky and Pete is patient. I want everything done as soon as practical and Pete would like to make sure everything is done properly. These two points of view sometimes appear mutually exclusive. My way of thinking is if we are going to do this, let’s get it done and move on. I don’t see the point in taking our time, because it prolongs the amount of time we are here, in our shell that used to be our home, and our yard that used to be my haven. I am excited about growing more plants wherever we end up. It is the limbo in between that is difficult.

This has been an eye-opening exercise from the point of view of who has stepped in to offer assistance with things that we need help with and who hasn’t. Everyone is busy, everyone is getting older, why should people help us when they have their own stuff to do. I totally understand that way of thinking. It’s probably about time that I changed the way I behave with others. The way we existed years ago is an outdated way of being in community. Gone are the days when we helped each other with no expectation of reward or benefit.

It has made me think about things like getting older, and how moving into a new place, and aging changes people and relationships. People who know me, know that I don’t ask for help unless I really, really, really, need it. I hate not being able to do something myself. I am much happier being the one who helps others. I love catching up with family and friends for coffee and spend time chatting about whatever you want to talk about. If I ask you if you want coffee, I don’t generally have an ulterior motive.

Getting older and tuning into the energy in the different places we visit is also interesting. Even though Scotland is colder, and in a lot of the towns and villages people are struggling, there is a different energy. Upbeat, friendly, a smile and a hello cost nothing. People are interested in who you are, how you are going and what you have been up to. Maybe because we were visiting Aussies, it may be different if we lived there full time. Not that we are thinking about moving there full time, tempting as it is. Maybe another holiday, after we are settled into our new place. Scotland is on the shortlist of places we would love to live. Logistically though, common sense tells us that somewhere closer to home and family is probably a more sensible option.

I don’t know why I have always felt compelled to write down my thoughts, my feelings and ideas. To share what interests me with whoever may want to read what I write. Does anyone else feel they have to write things down to organise their thoughts? I think that is why I love writing so much. Do you prefer to talk to people, family, and friends, rather than commit words to paper?

It is interesting that I enjoy creating vlogs, video blogs, because while I am an attention seeker, I also prefer to spend time alone. Making videos where I talk to my computer works well. I hope what I have to say strikes a chord with whomever is listening. Do I think I will become rich and famous with the words I write, and the videos I share? I guess I have as much chance as anyone else. I would settle for knowing that people read, watch, and enjoy my words. I don’t have any special wisdom or knowledge. I just share what I am thinking, in case my words benefit others. So let’s sit down and have a cuppa together soon. x