How often do we decide to make a change – diet, exercise, being healthy, stopping smoking, drinking, gambling or other addiction, start off well, keeping it up for a while, but then…it …peters off and we are back to our old habits. Maybe after months, doing really well, someone or something occurs that brings us back to old patterns of behaviour, old habits. The most important lesson to all this is not to be too hard on ourselves, and when we get back on our feet, we try again.

My experience, learned behaviour, of using cigarettes and alcohol as a way of coping with stresses, started before I left school and left home, much to the annoyance of my Mum. Now I realise it is because she didn’t want be making the same mistakes she did, though at the time I didn’t think that at all. What I find interesting is that my sister, who was much closer to Mum than I was, does not drink alcohol or smoke at all. Anyway, my addictions, followed me through leaving home, getting married and only stopped with the birth of my first child, my beautiful baby boy. I didn’t drink or smoke at all again until my son was 10 0r 11, his three sisters all younger, during the separation and subsequent divorce that tore our family apart. On a side note, it was the same year my mother passed away (we were not close) and I started university.

I didn’t make the connection at the time, smoking and drinking was just what my Mum and Dad had done as part of daily life. Now I realise it was learned behaviour and easy to fall back to in times of stress. The absolutely devastating thing is that thought that any of my children would have picked up these addictions from me, from either a pre-disposition to addiction or as learned behaviour. I do know that it is as an adult we make our own decisions on how we live and deal with stresses, so I know not to beat myself up about that too much. It is also down to our peers and work mates who have influence on how we live. We really are very complex beings.

After less than ten years of drinking far too much alcohol (it seemed far longer at the time) I managed to stop. I still felt emotions really strongly, I still had issues coping with what was happening with my kids and my life, but I had made the decision to be healthier, for my kids as well as for myself, and after a few false starts, I am pleased to say I haven’t had alcohol of any description for over 8 years. The smoking was way tricker. It was easy to drink herbal teas and coffee instead of alcohol, compared to not smoking. I was cranky and crabby and so kept smoking, up (on and off) until 2016. Over 2 years not smoking now and proud of this.

The point is, it took years to retrain myself and my brain, to teach myself that I didn’t need these crutches to live a full and happy life. Any stress was an excuse to drink or smoke. Any argument, and screaming or yelling, any family problems and straight to a drink or outside for a smoke. The point is, whether our ‘addiction’ is food, drugs, gambling, shopping or other to make ourselves feel good about ourselves, it is okay. It is also okay that when we are ready to leave that support behind and replace it with healthier habits, if we fall off the wagon. The important thing is we keep trying, we don’t give up, we don’t get stuck.

Again using myself as an example, with the travel each day, the sedentary office job, I don’t exercise or be active as much as I should, as much as I used to. I try to find creative ways to stay fit and active. I stand up at my desk where I can, walk to talk to people instead of email where possible. At home, don’t sit at the computer as much, be outside more, walk more etc.

I also use crystals, essential oils and other natural products like Manuka honey and apple cider vinegar to support my health. Like everyone though, life gets busy, I forget and need to remind myself. Even with crystals and oils beside my bed, I don’t always remember to use them. One thing I have found that I do remember every single day is the Doterra Lifelong Vitality Supplements, and the DDR Prime supplements. Every morning as I make our cuppas for our trip into work or for at home on home days, I get out our supplements – for me and Pete and we have them with our smoothie, or if I am running behind, with water. These have been a god send for our overall health and wellbeing, energy levels and healthy body and mind.

We all try to maintain health and happiness, we all have coping mechanisms. We all try to do our best and that’s the main thing. Looking after ourselves, and others, its okay to fall, just don’t get stuck there, get up and have another go.