When we love and care for people, whether we are empaths, or connected to others in some way, in can be difficult to let go. For example, as our children grow from babies, teenage years through to adulthood we have to let go of the ties that bind us. It can be painful for us to let our children go and live their own lives, sometimes making mistakes, sometimes being hurt. The instinct is to wrap them up in cotton wool and fix it for them. If we did that though we wouldn’t be giving them the opportunity to learn and grow. Dwelling on this, dwelling on how well we did or didn’t parent, only causes illness and disease. We sometimes use addictive behaviours to compensate for the guilt, for the regrets, the pain.

We all know people who deal with the issue of letting go in this way. Leaning onto a crutch, be it drugs, alcohol, gambling or some other addiction. We have all been touched by the issue, of needing to let go. Whether it is when kids grow up and leave home, a family or relationship breaks down, a death in the family, we are all faced with such situations. It is how we deal with this that can hold the key to our health or ill health. Rather than being riddled with regret or guilt or turning to addictive behaviours there are other things we can try.

We all know about using meditation and exercise to help heal. Distracting and re-training our mind and our spirit to focus on the positives. It is normal to feel grief, normally associated with a death, with the end of a relationship or a change of a relationship of this type. So, it follows then that we can use similar ideas to work through the situation. Write a letter to the person, or to yourself, journaling or story writing can be very healing. If you have the opportunity to share your writing then do so, if it is safe to do so. Otherwise burying or burning the letter can help. Use crystals and candles or incense as relaxation (or a bath if you like relaxing in a bath). Have lit candles around the house, or make an altar or focus table with candles, crystals and knick knacks that mean something. Find and read inspirational stories from others who have come through similar experiences. Listen to music, or play an instrument, draw or paint, spend time in the garden. Use lavender essential oil, in a diffuser or on your pulse points, a hankie or your pillow. Maybe use a couple of drops in that bath.

These tools, they can be used to help in a variety of situations. We can teach our children and other family members how to use these simple tools to heal and stay healthy. The trick is to remember ourselves.